Cocktails and Dreams

Feeling of the Day

"Bitterness just isn't a problem anymore"

posted by h@mMy! @ 12:11 AM 0 comments

PHEW!!

yup exams are over. they didnt go so well really. the whole semester ROCKED! but when it came to the finals....gosh i screwed them like...um like....nevermind. anyways the month long wait is here. the last with my buddys ..as much as i hate the place,, im going to miss my friends at nust..*sigh*..but life goes on. i thought when i left o levels, that would bethe end. but i met better ppl in a alevels. when i ended that, i thought that was the end. i didnt meet better ppl at nust, but most of them are just as great..however there still remains a problem. that hole is still here. the gap. the void.

posted by h@mMy! @ 10:55 PM 0 comments

Some Venting Required

im in a rut. cant study. cant write a poem. cant get things straightened out with myself.*sigh*. life sucks man.im looking forward to my hols,but somehow, the way crappy way my papers were and are going is going to make minced meat out of it.my last holidays before my engineering is complete inshaAllah!.hmm..i also got my gas dynamics result today, the subject im always babbling about on my blog. "thouroughly dissapointing" as described by the teacher. but i should still get an A inshaAllah. the aim, however, in relative systems should be to ensure no one else gets an A..
these exams have been tough for me man. this time ive been without a HUGE source of inspiration, motivation and comfort. perhaps only i know how much that gap feels..the gap now in my life that seems to be growing larger at the moment.
and coldplays words ring in my head "...and tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you cant replace."
that last line really says it all......lose something..u CANT replace..*sigh*

posted by h@mMy! @ 10:51 PM 0 comments

...just feel better

sometimes you get the feeling that some songs were custom made to suit ur feelings. i was just listening to santana and steven tylers 'just feel better':

"And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
It goes I never went before
But this time, this time I'm gonna try anything that just feel better

Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better
And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better"

yeah its a nice song....but oh God i still am stranded in the past. dunno how long before i start feeling like im moving on.sigh.

posted by h@mMy! @ 2:27 PM 0 comments

A part from an interesting article i read the other day on the internet:


"Why did you start all this?"
"To get away from it all."
"To get away from what?"
"The pain."
"What caused the pain?"
"Well it was years in the making. I had a long and serious relationship with a friend, which was constantly bruised and battered by a very stinging reaction to it by one of my parents. The relationship with that parent was constantly bruised and battered by trying to keep up with my other relationship. I felt like being pulled from both sides. In the end, I ripped from the middle, and both my friend and parent were lost to me. I also hid a very dark secret, which stabbed me every time I lived it. The most painful feeling was that of being an incompetent son. Though I tried so hard, I could never manage to be the son my parents wanted me to be in many ways. In the end, they ended up wishing I would leave home as quickly as possible. Endless fights with my parents, triggered by my foul mouth and bad temper, were often the source of the greatest pain. I couldnt keep anyone happy; not even myself."
"What things did you try?"
"I cut myself and burnt myself so that the temporary pain caused by that would make me forget my other sources of sadness. I tried glue sniffing, smoking, weed, alcohol and cocaine. I thought of running away, but didnt do that anyway."
"Do you wish for death?"
"No."
"What motive do you find to stay alive then?"
"That I know, deep inside my heart, that I AM a good person, and that I can be better. The will to be better, and the hope that tomorrow will be a better day, keeps me going."

posted by h@mMy! @ 6:49 PM 2 comments

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.

posted by h@mMy! @ 11:00 PM 1 comments

Love and Peace....

I had my winamp on, with the playlist shuffling toggled. and would you believe it, out of 1200 songs, it just picked out "imagine" by john lennon! Heh, what a coincidence..the man was good. i know 'good' is hardly the best word, but seriously...he had a vision.
"..i hope someday you'll join us...and the world will live as one."

posted by h@mMy! @ 10:00 PM 0 comments

dont u hate it when you just find excuses to go to places just so that u could find someone to talk to, coz u NEED someone; ANYONE at that time to talk to....but everyones just too busy..studying, or sleeping, or playing pool at yahoo or crap like that. im feeling quite just like that right now. it stings even more when you realize you got 145 contacts on your msn list...

posted by h@mMy! @ 12:31 AM 0 comments

"Thank You for everything"

5th December, 2005

11:50 pm

posted by h@mMy! @ 12:23 AM 0 comments