Welcome to Pakistan
The Common Man: Im so poor I cant afford the basic necessities of life. Wheat, pulses and meat; its all out of my range! How can I fill the stomach of my hungry children at home?Sharif: Oh thats too bad. I can afford all that so I dont give a rat's ass about your sorry state of life. However, the judges should be reinstated, so I must take the next 1st Class flight to London, stay at a 7 star hotel for a couple of days, and meet up with the rest of my buddies to make sure that the judges are reinstated.
The Villager: Theres no electricity in my village! We can't do any work properly. It's very hot as well. My children burn from the heat without any fans working.
Zardari: Ah you shouldve come to the city then, silly man!
The Common Man: But theres no electricity in the city either!
Imran: Dekhen jee...the stability of the whole nation depends on the reinstatement of the judiciary. All your problems will be solved only then. From washing your underwear to fixing your lightbulbs!
The Common Man: Today the Rupee lost its value by more than 3%!
Sharif: Woops! Time to make another trip to merry ol' england, stash my pockets with Sterling, and bring it back and buy another plot of land in Raiwand!
Qazi: Protest! Protest!
Zardari: The hell are YOU protesting about?
Qazi: Someones stolen my Jinnah cap! I appeal for a nationwide strike tomorrow!
The Common Man: But what about my small shop in Layari? How will I feed my hungry children tomorrow?
Aitezaz: Exactly! How will I feed my hungry French poodle if Agha's is closed tomorrow?
Qazi: Hmmm...and the dog food prices have gone sky-high....hmmmm.............Protest! Protest! I appeal for a nationwide strike day after tomorrow as well to protest against the rising dog food prices!
Sharif: But the judges should be reinstated!
Imran: Dekhein jee, its all the general's fault.
Ishaq: The State Bank is rubbish! Foreign investors are rubbish! The Euro is rubbish! The dollar is rubbish! Rubbish is rubbish!
The Common Man: Your comments are decreasing the value of the rupee versus the dollar!
Ishaq: Good! Hail the Euro!
The Common Man: Rupee is already crushed under the Euro!
Ishaq: Good! Hail the Sterling!
The Common Man: What?!
Zardari: Hmm I've already met Nawaz in London, Islamabad, Lahore, Karachi and Dubai. hmm maybe meeting him in Timbuktu should solve the judges problem
The Common Man: Judges?! Screw the judges! The prices of petrol and diesel have skyrocketed!
Nawaz: Ah good thing my 60 Million rupee Land Cruiser drinks only a liter per mile
Zardari: Huh? How come my 75 Million rupee Land Cruiser drinks 2 liters per mile??! Gilli! Explain!
Gillani: Er..umm...Because your Land Cruiser is the only one that doesnt have a murdering sunroof lever!
Zardari: Fair enough
Qazi: Protest! Protest! Someone stole my Lota!
Fazal: Huh? What? Who called me?
Sharif: But the judges should be reinstated!
The Common Man: Im a man on daily wages. I earn 170 rupees a day. NOTHING worth eating is affordable. Wheat, daal, chicken, beef, tomotoes, apples, bananas NOTHING! Theres no electricity for more than 3 hours a day and its 50 degrees inside my shack of a home. Ive got 6 children with non of them earning and i have elderly parents. We elected you to save us. We elected you to bring a change. I dont want to be another one of those permanently dispaired and depressed people who only sees the trigger of a gun as the only way to escape. Please help me. What do you have to say?
Sharif: But The judges should be reinstated!
Imran: Dekhin Jee, when I was in Oxford.......
Zardari: ......or maybe a meeting in Havanna?
Ishaq: Rubbish Rubbish Rubbish!
Sharif: But The judges should be reinstated!
Aitezaz: I call for the celebration of a black day followed by a day long hunger strike by all my stupid, poor, dignity-less slaves dressed in black and white suits! Otherwise I shall resign (or not)
Qazi: Protest! Protest!
Zardaril: NOW what is it?
Qazi: Someones stolen my glasses!
Zardari: Aitezaz's poodle is wearing them.
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