Cocktails and Dreams: 07/01/2005

Monday, July 25, 2005

Quote of the Day

"Sleeping makes me hungry.......and eating makes me sleepy. Life is good."

-Garfield

Sunday, July 24, 2005

The Man Who Wouldnt Give Up

Im no cycling fan. Dunno the first thing about the races, or the rules, or the championships. I dont follow any races whatsoever, neither do i feel the urge to develop in interest in it. However, I do know ONE thing for sure.
Whenever Im faced with a hopeless situation, in which I feel that I really cant go on. One where I feel like theres nothing left to do except to give in or give up. A situation which demands nothing short of exceptional perseverance and spirit of steel...whenever that comes up..I just look up to two men. One of whom is Lance Armstrong. Three forms of cancer. Nothing in the future. And a win in the most gruelling of cycle races known to man. Seven Times. Consecutively.
Lance, you ARE the man!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Nice Work Brits....

Good one.That is just how fully efficient the British police are. After such a goddamn long time, they FINALLY catch hold of someone, topple him, kill him................and then find out he was totally innocent. Smart work guys, congrats. I mean i know the pakistani police arent any better; they take bribes more than their intake of food, they bother the victims more than the criminals and what not...BUT...when they finally catch someone....they get the right guy....You Brits cant even do that...go suck an egg u losers, maybe next time some Asian takes in a breath u can gun him down as well....for 'suspected terrorist activity'.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Weddings, Food and Pakistanis

The other day I went to my nephews wedding..yeah i know how wierd that sounds, but he's older than me..anyways thats not the point. It was getting quite late, as it usually does in weddings here in Pakistan.It wasnt all that boring..but somehow, i was feeling left out..everyone was either busy meeting everyone else, posing infront of the cameras, with their spouses, or simply didnt bother to come..and i wasnt in any one of these categories..so just sat there..and waited for the food..( hey u cant blame me for that!)..time ticked by..and i waited some more...i went to the washroom, fixed my hair, came back and waited some more...seemed like an endless que from the brides family who had never seen what the front of a movie camera looked like..maybe there was some sort of adhesive left on the sofa..whatever the case, it was getting late, and i was getting hungry.... Theres a saying in urdu which signifies how hungry u are..."being so hungry that the mice are running in ur tummy"...and i could feel that even those had starved to death..............suddenly...without warning...there was a clatter of brass in the distance...i looked up and saw the waiters lifting the covers off the dinner pots....a momentary lapse in everyones breath...i looked around..everyone stopped what they were doing..they looked at the lineup of meals...then they looked at each other.....i heard a yodel from my back..." khanaa lag gayaa!!!" food has been served!!in an instant...the food tables were swarmed in a manner that would have made a beehive jealous....people of all ages attacked the bloody food..i wish we pakistanis had so much passion and fire in the better things in life..a 7 year old girl struggled to balance herself as she ran away with FIVE bottles of seven up in her hands...(even i find that risky to do!)...a 60 + uncle dished out a plate ful of custard...(hello dude! errr...the main course comes first!) a (age unknown due to excessive make up) woman pushed my little cousin out of the way and helped herself to half a plate of salads and dressings..(judging by her weight and size, maybe she should only be eating the cutlery ).....as i sat there, i was bewildered by the unbeliveable lunacy of people; their ridiculous temptation to eat till they explode...all stemming from one thing...make sure YOU are the one who loses..not they..hey if they gave ure son 250 rupees for his salami, then theyre gonna make sure they eat 700 rupees worth of food from his wedding..its sickening i tell u....i just sat there and waited until it got a bit cleard up...i felt the urge to do somethign i did a few weeks back...at another wedding...there was ice cream cake for desert and the stall was overflowing like ants around a sugar cube .... i had waited long enough and so i decided to finally get my share...i had hardly squeezed myself past five hungry wolves when i nearly got hit there by a whiff of a bone..i looked down to see a boy of hardly 6 years of age pushing his way through the crowd and jerking his elbow at anyone or anything which wasnt letting him through..he managed to push and step on the others towards the other side of the stall..waiting no more than 5 seconds, he realized he wasnt going to get anything from there..so he made his way back through the same crowd.......and in the same way. He came pushing and shoving and as soon as he came close to me, i did what i felt was my responsiblity towards this society. i took on the weight of civic justice on my shoulders and acted with the determination and strength of a dedicated civilian of the human community..................................................i stuck out my foot and tripped him.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

The Painful Truth

As time passes by, and I walk through the roads of my life, Ive discovered a very very painful truth about life..something so simple and so apparent, yet which has such diverse negative implications that we dont even know about it. something Ive always tried to refuse, something Ive always tried to block out of my head...something I just couldnt accept, until now......
"EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD REVOLVES AROUND MONEY"

Thursday, July 14, 2005

All You Need.....

To be in Human Resource, all you need is:

Some nice flashy clothes
A strong, bent English accent (fake or otherwise)
A helluva good practice at smiling all day
A set of shiny teeth
A polished habit of sucking up

To be a Chartered Accountant, all you need is

To be able to count
Use a calculator
Have a good bottom, coz you’ll be sitting on it all day

To be an Economist, all you need is

The craving to be the biggest miser in the world

To be a Chemist, all you need is

A permanently blocked nose
NOT to be color blind.

To be a Doctor, all you need is

A garden full of frogs
A personal DVD edition of Silence of the Lambs

To be a Musician, all you need is

To be horrible at everything else

To be a Businessman, all you need is

A rich father

To be a Lawyer, all you need is

To sell your soul

To be a Psychologist, all you need is

A spouse.

To be a Software Designer, all you need is

A bunch of video games
A good pair of spectacles

To be an Engineer, all you need is

A Brain.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Where the Streets Have No Name (literally!)

I just checked in the map. It’s not even in the map! No houses, no shops, no restaurants, no public toilets (come on how could THAT be possible ). In fact I was surprised (and relieved) to see that my cell phone was still exchanging signals with the ufone stations. Loads of barren land, some bit of water here and there, some more barren land and a huge main road. We branch off to the right and some 4 km into the distance is where this old boy is going to be spending his (well deserved) holidays (in an utmost undeserved fashion). Whining and moaning but still wanting the name of Toyota under the ‘work experience’ column in my resume, God once again was most Gracious and provided for me the chance to work at yet another multinational engineering firm. Why the hell does that place have to be so far though? It takes me almost an hour to reach there, and more than that on the way back. Yep, good ol’ Port Qasim. Funny place it is...I mean Indus Motors, not the desert surrounding it...especially comparing it to the month I spent at Siemens, it really does seem quite different.i'l write about all that soon enough, I'll get going now...tomorrows another day of travelling...gosh I cant even run away from there coz there arent any cars going to the main road except for office timings...and uh...I really dont wanna talk a lift with the Pathan truck drivers..

Cocktails and Dreams