im too cold to think of a title
well im finally here..last nite i felt like dancing to that song " oooo we're going to ipiza" well im not at ipiza, certainly though someplace MUCH MUCH colder. its what like almost 5 here in islamabad and its 630 in the evening.when i stepped out of the aeroplane in the morning, i was like " And mom almost made me a wear a sweater for this and carry a 5 ton jacket too" almost 8 hours later, ive changed my opinion. lets hope i have a good time here. so far the prospects for much roaming about and sight seeing dont seem to bright. the trip was good. except for a bunch of villagers cum western wannabees that were a few seats ahead. even from that distance they managed to keep me distracted. there was another paindu sitting beside me. he bumped the back of my seat more times than i fixed my hair. overall, i must my utter hatred towards pia. i mean p.i.a., watever. they reserve the best of their airhostesses for first class. not that they have many good ones anyways. but that was just a general observation. its strange travelling alone. especially when they serve the food. and it isnt just in flights. anyplace u are alone and someone next to u is eating the same thing, it always brings about an awkward feeling. what is the other guy going to eat first? whats he using a knife for if theres nothing to be cut? will he eat all his fruit? i must admit i stole several glances to the colonel sitting next to me. to my relief (and even more awkwardness), i realized he was looking back into my tray, watching my moves.
and now im here, sitting in some institute (the name of which i dont even know) where my cousin is doing his masters from. its just incredibly cold. for a karachiite. and for a person who, for some dumb reason, feels very cold most of the time. im looking forward to going to lahore too, though i still have got no arrangements for staying over. lets hope its a tab bit warmer there so maybe i'l be able to move my hands properly.
im too cold to think of a title
well im finally here..last nite i felt like dancing to that song " oooo we're going to ipiza" well im not at ipiza, certainly though someplace MUCH MUCH colder. its what like almost 5 here in islamabad and its 630 in the evening.when i stepped out of the aeroplane in the morning, i was like " And mom almost made me a wear a sweater for this and carry a 5 ton jacket too" almost 8 hours later, ive changed my opinion. lets hope i have a good time here. so far the prospects for much roaming about and sight seeing dont seem to bright. the trip was good. except for a bunch of villagers cum western wannabees that were a few seats ahead. even from that distance they managed to keep me distracted. there was another paindu sitting beside me. he bumped the back of my seat more times than i fixed my hair. overall, i must my utter hatred towards pia. i mean p.i.a., watever. they reserve the best of their airhostesses for first class. not that they have many good ones anyways. but that was just a general observation. its strange travelling alone. especially when they serve the food. and it isnt just in flights. anyplace u are alone and someone next to u is eating the same thing, it always brings about an awkward feeling. what is the other guy going to eat first? whats he using a knife for if theres nothing to be cut? will he eat all his fruit? i must admit i stole several glances to the colonel sitting next to me. to my relief (and even more awkwardness), i realized he was looking back into my tray, watching my moves.
and now im here, sitting in some institute (the name of which i dont even know) where my cousin is doing his masters from. its just incredibly cold. for a karachiite. and for a person who, for some dumb reason, feels very cold most of the time. im looking forward to going to lahore too, though i still have got no arrangements for staying over. lets hope its a tab bit warmer there so maybe i'l be able to move my hands properly.
yeah i feel it all right..the paths are separating. i hate it. i hate to feel it. but thats the truth. and somehow, some unknown evil strength is holding me back from bringing the paths closer. but theyre branching away. away and away. sigh. its a wierd kind of pain i feel. like a stinging pain that i cant completely feel the effects of. the pain that lingers there and keeps stinging bit by bit. oh it hurts like hell for sure. and for the moment, i dunno the solution.
An Article Worth The Read
Republished with permission from the author and taken from www.madhak.blogspot.comWHY DO I BELIEVE IN GOD?by Madiha KaleemYesterday after getting into a religious discussion with a friend I thought of something that i might never have thought of before.
Why do I believe theres a god?
What makes me believe that god really exists?
Heres what I managed to figure out
I believe god exists when im in need, when im in soo much pain and i know nothing on earth can remove that pain, when i cant stop crying and cant even find the strength to scream. I muster all the energy I have and say Allah help. At once a wave of calmness spreads over me it feels like its ok, like lifes really not that badI believe god exists when I see death and I ask myself how just one second ago the very same person was alive and kicking. I ask myself how the very same body that we look after for all these years, that we use for some many things, all of a sudden becomes useless.All that just because it no longer posses a soul which like god is something we cannot see or touch.
I believe god exists when I look at my mum and how when any one of her children arre sick she doesnt sleep, do any of her daily activities and just focuses on giving us utmost care.I ask myself how she could sacrifice so much, forget about her pain her hunger her comfort and put us first.
i look around me and know that any other person would never do the same for me. Thats whewn i realize that it just has to be something god has given mothers because an ordinary person isnt capable of giving so much love.
I believe theres a god when i look at my cat. The stupid billa makes her pregnant every 3 or 4 months and everytime she carries her little kittens in her mouth from one corner of the hostel to other to save them from getting hurt. Every time i give something to eat she first lets all her kittens eat and then has the leftovers herself. I wonder how a cat, a seneslees cat knows that if she doesnttake care ofher kittens that way they would die.
I believe theres a god when i look at people in clifton and defence. They all seem to be trying so hard to have the perfect face perfect body perfect accent perfect way of walking and yet in their eyes you see emptiness, you see longing, you see confusion. I wonder how some people who have the best of family the most money the best of health and everything this world has to offer are stil not happy.THat must mean that there is something other than this duniya that we all need.I believe theres a god when I see my patients. How some of them do not get better no matter how much medication you give them or how correct your approach to treating the disease may be.I realize that if we were so perfect we wouldntbe so helpless at times when we need help the most.
I believe theres a gos when i look at a pomegranate. It takes me around ten minutes to take out all the little bits of it and once they are all out i know i could spend a life time but would never be able to put to it back together the way it was.I believe theres a god when i look at the vast fields during the bus ride from college to home. Sometimes i try to strain my eyes and look as far as i can and even then i know i would notbe able to see even the end of that one field let alone that city or country.
I believe theres a god when i read the quran. no one ever told me i would find such peace while readaing it. all people told me was that it was my duty as a muslim. then how is it that when i was totally unaware that the quran could make me feel this way it actually did? how is it that there is nothing else in the world that has so far given me so much peace.
i believe there is a god when i read stories about converts,how people who have such screwed upconceptions about islam just open their hearts and are now even bettermuslims than you and i.
i believe there is a god when i touch water. i realize that i really cant hold it and i really cant smell it, sometimes i cant even see it, yet we use it to bathe, clean, wash and without it we would surely die .
i believe theres a god when i study embryolgy.my book gives me every detail about each particular gene and that this gene makes that cell that makes that organ. yet there are parts of the book that say the mechanism for the formation for this unknown.
i believe there is a good when i look at flowers.sometimes i pick up a wilting flower lying on the floor and put it in water and in the sun and becomes all fresh and new.it sems like the flower is smilng and saying thank you. it seems like god is saying see i exist as life even in a flower that you thought was dead.My parents always told me there was a god but when my life started getting scrwed up i would ask HIm
Hey god where are you?
I found him in so many places.
NOW
I believe in god because i love god.When you really love someone you want to say yes to whatever they ask you to do. So now i believe in god because He wants me to.THere are no further questions, no further arguments, no further doubts in my head!
Alhumduililah
All That Isn't There Anymore
I'm tired, I need to lean back,
But there's no wall anymore,
The wall that was there before.
I'm down, I have to get up,
But there aren't any crutches anymore,
The crutches that were there before.
I'm blind, I can't see ahead,
But there's no hand anymore,
The hand that was there before.
I'm beat, I need energy,
But there's no voice anymore,
The voice that was there before.
I'm cold, I need those rays,
But the sunshine isn't there anymore,
The sunshine that was there before.
